K-town Spotting: Where to be seen this Decemberistan (apart from weddings)
Sipping Coffee at Toni & Guy: If you’re not getting your nail polish touched up from Toni & Guy then what are you really doing with your life dahling? Everyone knows the golden three-day rule, blow dry it on the first day, updo on the second and straighten it on the third. Despite the hours of YouTube tutorials you’ve forced your Filipino to watch after the kids are asleep, she just can’t manage to get the flick the way they do at the most exclusive parlour in town.
Having Brunch at Test Kitchen : Last nights Shendi spent standing by a car in 7 inch heels was exhausting, and your in need of carbs to re load. You are desperate to give their legendary Hot Chocolate an Irish twist, while you wait for an hour in the car outside till your table is ready – because no matter how much you suck up to Victor, Test Kitchen is it’s own battlefield. No amount of ‘do you know who I am’s” can get you a free pass through the queue.
Eating Escargot at Test Kitchen Ka Baaps Place: Now that Sunday Brunch is out of the way, your hair is tamed and your tummy growling after 5 hours of a marathon dance practice session (where 3 hours were spent angrily Whataspping long voice note lectures about how you can’t believe how late everyone is and that no one is taking this seriously). I mean, there’s three weeks left guys and practice is ONLY 6 days a week. It’s time for the big guns. When you suggest Okra, make sure no one knows you actually booked last month so that everyone knows getting a table last minute in the middle of December (upstairs of course, cause the downstairs is for plebs) is no problem for you.
At Easy buying Christmas Donuts: You know it’s Christmas time in Karachi when Aghas puts out its tree decoration stall, where everything is three times the price but you wouldn’t dare shop elsewhere. The personalised stockings came in just in time from your darzi and it only took two threats of shutting his entire business down for him to actually get it done fast enough! Leaving cookies out for Santa (and Instagram) is so two years ago. Now if you really want to be part of the holiday cheer, you best be leaving out Christmas themed donuts from everyone’s favourite carb factory.
The No-Mess Burrito Bowl at Adobo: You’ve pre-gamed too hard for this Vallima which is only serving mess-up-your-makeup-and-hair food. Eating with your hands is easier said than done with photographers lurking around, ever ready to zoom in on their unsuspecting prey. Thankfully the crew feels the same way so you ditch the gharara and head over for some Mexican. With your friend Charlie in town constantly needing liquid encouragement, your resources are drained dryer than the Vallima you were just at and now some good affordable grub is in order. There’s a neon sign, old-timey phone, and outrageous portions so you can save half to eat at home later while your watching the latest episode of The Mandalorian.
Mixing ‘Mocktails’ at The Sindh Club Ball: You’ve been training with Mustafa Jamshed since August and are finally ready to fit into that little black dress you bought from Dubai last year. Your ex, and probably everyone else’s exes are all going to be there, so you know you have to be dressed to kill. Not going to the Sindh Club ball is Karachi elites version of missing the High School Prom. Since there are no pictures allowed, you must be constantly circulating as well as juggle needing to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes to ‘recharge’. After years of practice though you’ve mastered the art of shuffling between crowds with a soda-something in one hand and a vape pen in the other.
Taking Your Out Of Town Gorra Friends To Do Darya: Breathing in the sea breeze while cropping out the trash the restaurant is dumping into water is a Decemberistan staple. All here for so and so’s wedding, the poor white folk have grown weary of chicken rolls and dancing to Haye Dil Bechara, so you give them a break from the guest house and take them somewhere that has to obviously be in Defence (who has time to change all their dollars into whatever currency KDA-ians use). There’s no better way to enjoy our two weeks of winter than by sitting seaside, eating garaam cheese naan surrounded by people who know what a keg stand is?